No one ever likes me back why do I even bother

(Source: fuckingly)

Sometimes I wonder how it is possible for a single being to affect me so much. I miss you more than I miss anyone else. More than I miss food when i’m hungry! (and I love food) But when we are together or when I am talking to you everything else in the world seems right. Everything else falls exactly into place. I have never had anyone make this kind of impact on me and it confuses me deeply. I am torn between my love for you as one of the bestest friends I have ever had, and my thoughts of how if we were to ever be a couple, we would be, undeniably, the best couple in the world. I just know we would. However, I feel as though that will never happen. Even though we get along so beautifully and I know we both love each other, your attraction towards me is strictly platonic, whereas mine? Well, mine…..I can’t go a day without talking to you, as hard as I try not to talk to you, it just still happens. I feel safe whenever I am with you and you make me happier than I could ever imagine I could be. 

But you, you also bring me down to my deepest depths. If I do go a day witout talking to you (even though it is rare), or if you’re upset and their is nothing I can do about it, or if I just remind myself how we could never be together. I fall into a darkness that I have never seen before. I have had dark thoughts that I have never had before. 

But still, you can always lift me out of darkness with your bright light. And for that I will always love you, even if it must only be as a friend. I will push aside romantic feelings. I will date other people. I will always be your best friend first and foremost, because that means the world to me. I will love you as you love me, nothing more.

I can do that.

I hope….